Islamic Marriage - The relationship between a husband and wife.

Here at Find Your Muslim Partner, we’re very much aware that people’s attitudes and beliefs around marriage can vary greatly depending on their upbringing, their family traditions, what they’ve discussed with their Imam and so forth. To be clear, we’re not here to tell you what is right and wrong. Rather we believe the core elements of an Islamic Marriage are worth taking note of; as you move closer to marriage with someone, it’s worth considering taking these in mind. As always, if you want to get in touch with us, you are more than welcome – all the details are on our ‘Contact Us’ page.

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Quran 30:21

What is marriage?

Marriage is a contract between a man and woman to live together as husband and wife. It should bond a woman and man together and ensure their relationship is strong. It should not be taken lightly.

“Tranquility”, “love” and “mercy” are all terms used in the Quran to describe the relationship between those who are married. The Quran also describes husbands and wives as being “garments for each other.” (2:187). This metaphor is a fantastic way to think of marriage, in that garments provide us with warmth, protection, comfort and modesty. The Quran goes on to describe the best garment as “the garment of God-consciousness” (7:26).

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Sometimes the religious ceremony and the need to fulfil the legal requirements for the country in which people are married may be separate. For example, in the UK, if the mosque at which you have the religious ceremony of marriage is not legally sanctified to provide the legal marriage service, you’ll be required to fulfil this legal process of marriage at a registry office for example. We advise that no Muslim should seek a marriage without the full protection of the law of the land within which you are living. This is critical, because even though, following the Muslim marriage service, the Nikah, you may feel married before Allah, the law of the land would not see the wife and any children of that offspring as legitimate. So let’s be clear, a full marriage involves both the religious ceremony, and any civil legal process required within the country of marriage.The two ceremonies can occur at different times, not necessarily on the same day. Within the UK, if your mosque has been registered both as a place of worship and as a place for civil marriages, it is possible to combine the two within one service.

Why get married?

We believe a productive, loving marriage is essential. Not just for ourselves, but for society as a whole. The Prophet Muhammed, peace be upon him, placed enormous importance upon marriage. He said “marriage is half your deen”. What did he mean by this? Many scholars have interpreted this as meaning that he saw marriage providing protection in helping the married couple avoid temptation. Additionally, we all face tests in married life, and sometimes we need patience, wisdom and faith in facing those tests. Married life helps you, both singly, and as a unified couple, face the challenges of life.

So, marriage can help strengthen our love and faith. But as a Muslim, how does marriage help us on a practical basis? Marriage gives us a framework of legally-enforceable rights and duties for both husband and wife. For both partners to be equally fulfilled, and to live in balance and harmony with each other, and with God, in an atmosphere of love and respect, we must strive to follow these rights and duties:

The general rights:

  • To be treated with honour, patience and kindness.
  • To enjoy intimate relations with each other.
  • With God’s will, to have and raise children.
  • To keep your personal and legal identity after marriage. Muslim women retain their inheritance, family name, mahr etc

General duties

  • For both men and women, to maintain an effort to be attractive to your spouse.
  • To be faithful to the bond of marriage.
  • To resolve disputes amicably.
  • To assist and support each other.
  • For the husband to provide the physical maintenance of the family – which includes housing, medical care, food etc

These rights and duties are intended to provide a foundation for a married couple in terms of their expectations. Many couples have different ideas and needs in addition to the above. That is fine, as long as the communication of these elements between husband and wife is clear from the outset. Even before the marriage itself, a couple intending to be married can add their own personal elements to the marriage contract.

It is the experience of the team at Find Your Muslim Partner that a stronger marriage is often the result of a couple having clear communication with each other from the outset.

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